235. Longing for Solitude

27.8.1989.

I sighed and longed for solitude;
   for time to be alone.
I yearned for time to think and pray;
   for quietness I'd known.
I snatched some moments here and there,
   but they were not enough.
Yet in my longing for more time
   I heard Your soft rebuff.

Somewhere amidst my longing
   I slipped to selfishness;
And when I had the chance to serve
   there was unwillingness.
You showed me that those things that make
   one sigh for solitude
Can be used for a greater good
   to mold my attitude.

Those times are chances to deny;
   be freed from more of self.
The longings in themselves are good,
   but I was full of self.
I revel in the times You give
   to be alone with You.
When it's not there I'll not protest,
but rest in what You'll do.